It's 2:45 AM and I can't sleep. I hardly run into this problem anymore, it reminds me of being a teenager.

Lately I have been a big ball of stress. Some times I feel as though all this hard work isn't amounting to anything. I try to stay strong but sometimes I'm sick of being strong, sometimes I want to give up. I know I'm not the first or only one to feel this way but staying self motivated is extremely hard. Due dates and dead lines.. they haunt me monthly. Get rid of one and another one comes. It's a never ending cycle.

I just want to feel like I am ahead of the game for once.

I know I'm getting there I am just impatient. But when I sit back and take a look at the past year I really have come a long way. So I am hoping for the best for 2010.

First real time

I've never been very good at keeping one of these mainly because I always find myself trying too hard to be witty and Im just not that type of a writer. See, I'm already thinking too much, it already took me too long to come out with this. So I'll end for now.